Concoction

I think I have a form of strep throat. I have created a concoction that I am hoping will cure my ailment. It consist of green tea, honey, and pepper jelly. I am hoping if it doesn't cure me it will kill me. But who knows, I am not much for gargling with salt and I surely don't want any antibiotics, nor do I have money or trust for a doctor. Seems as of late doctors and priest only care about two things, their pocket, and little boys. -insert Micheal Jackson joke here-

(wait I hear someone outside... never mind it was my imagination.)

My pineapple plant seems to be doing well. It appears to be green, though I am not sure what they are supposed to do much more than sit there and take forever to grow. It's sad really that I learned they are a bulb type plant. As bulb type plants go the tree turns into the fruit and the fruit to the tree. I wonder how the pineapple growers say in business giving away the leaves with the pineapple. Surely I would rather trade if for a bunch of blueberries, I have a major headache, and I have decided to stop polluting my body with toxins such as aspirin, motrine, ibuprofen, so-on-&-so-forth.

Tiffany called me today, surprising. Though I have missed her I am still not sure if I completely enjoyed her call, other than to say it was unexpected. Sara calls, but we don't really talk anymore. I believe our last conversation consisted of how painful her menstruation was. Which is not something I care to talk about any or often. And if I were one to have a menstruation I sure as hell wouldn't talk about it; or how painful, bountiful, lengthy, debilitating, or late it was. Surely you would never hear the words “I might be pregnant” followed by the words “There's a chance it's yours” muttered from my lips. Not that anyone has used any of those terms recently, but I just felt like making it a point if I were a woman I definitely wouldn't be a stupid one. Horny, but not stupid. (most likely a lesbian)

I am debating a life changing decision. At least I hope when I actually make the decision it will be life changing. And I want to ask someone, with a great sense of humor, a lot of intelligence, and a job in the tech industry. (whom I have a uber geek crush on) What she thinks about this or these options. I could go to ITT Tech and become a computer game designer, I could go to a regular college, or I could get books and study for my certifications. (something I have been putting off for a while)

I plan on doing more paintings and also writing (working on writing) a few books (short stories) I started one but unfortunately I deleted it by mistake when I repartitioned my Linux section of my drive for what seems like the 100th time. I am still tinkering with the Linux partition trying to get everything to flow smoothly. It seems that Wine is kicking my ass, but at least I figured out how to get programs to install in Linux I was proud of myself when I installed Java from shell and also got Limewire to load. (the little pieces of pepper are like swallowing lizard scales) But for some reason I can't figure out how to get Wine to load correctly, so that I can get Internet Explorer to load, so that I can .net firmware 1.1 to load, so that I can get get Craxtion 4.0 installed so that I can copy er I mean backup Xbox games. See for some fucked up reason and I have yet to figure this out, DVD43 wont work right in my XP partition or rather it looks like it is working by my DVDXCOPY doesn't see it. DVDXCOPY keeps saying that the disc I put in is CCS protected and blah blah. So I have to have win98 and a old version of DVD43 for my movie backups, and I have to have Winxp to backup my Xbox games. But I just fucking love Linux the look the feel blah blah. And the only other programs I really use are Limewire, and of-corse Yahoo Messenger. It would be nice to do it all in one fucking operating system for a change rather than having 3 separate 10 gig or so partitions. I don't have enough extra space in there to do what I want to fucking do. And I don't know if there is a way to install what you need and setup the operating systems to format the drive on reboot for that particular partition, it would be cool if I could do that but I would loose the my files portion of whatever operating system each time I reboot. (sorry I am rambling.

The first book I started to write was called Betrayal. It was basically about what feeling betrayed feels like the hurt the love the trust that is involved in order to be betrayed. I don't remember what part of it I lost. (along with my dad's DVD's I copied list) But I do remember how it described the trust game (falling back and letting someone catch you) and how it described the betrayal as sitting there smoking only to be lethargical enough to let the cigarette slip from you fingers to set your whole world a blaze. (actually I think I have bronchitis with a case of sore throat, who knows)

The second book (these being recent of-corse because I have started a few and never finished them so not really first, second per-say) is to be about this guy. A guy who leads a normal life and goes to work every morning (my tea is getting cold and taste more like spicy lizard, eww-gad that was awful I got a mouth full of peppers slimy gruel like pepper) (sorry, so anyways) The guy starts his morning routine, not knowing that today could very well be his last. On his way to work he gets in a car accident. (it was hit by a train but I changed this for obvious reasons) (and if they are not obvious, I like the ability to put the drunk guy who caused the wreck in as a character later.) And so our hero, Mr. Every-day-average-office-geek is in the hospital. His friend-girl comes to visit him, to watch viduel over him, to hold his hand, and cry. And our story tells about how they met, and events of their life that brought them closer together. Sort of a life flashes before their eyes. When our story finally gets back to the present, it goes into what each one of them is thinking about things, about life & death, and the meaning of everything. That of-corse is to be the first chapter. Then sense I changed el-train-o into drunken monkey, I now have the ability to see life from a whole different set of perspectives. I figure I will put in my old stuck in a cell story, into the picture here as chapter two, and describe how fucked up life can really be. How drinking and driving pissed away this guys life and how he wakes up in a cell puking his guts out, only to discover he's not going anywhere for a while. Further after I get into all that and explore all the characters and their lives, where they come from where they have been, what brought them together. I think I am going to do chapter three with a how this fucked up twisted range of fate has brought them into a spinning spiral of needing each other. Books have to have drama. I think I wont do include the man in prison's family dying, after all that is a real story. I will just put him pinned against the wall due to the guy in the hospital. How one mans fate will determine another's. Perhaps give the man in jail an option to donate a vital organ to save the other mans life. A piece of me to make you whole. Who knows, I am still brainstorming.

Other than that nothing really major has been going on in my life, I have pretty much given up the will to live myself. Other than sitting around playing video games on my Xbox, oh that reminds me I have to have my Kai working too which runs under a Windows native blah blah so I can play online Xbox games, by fooling my Xbox into thinking that system link is actually local instead of Internet. Which is really great because no modification be necessary, and any system link capable game will do the trick, of-corse Kai is a bit tricky to setup if your not familiar with networking and-or have a firewall, router, hub, so-on-and-so-forth. But I don't believe in paying for Xbox Live if you have payed for the Xbox, then you have to pay for games, then you have to pay for Live, then if you want to download any downloadable content; guess what you have to pay for that too. (once they have you bent over they just manage to keep fucking you)

Anyways I am sick of updating, and I am sick of typing for now. I am sorry I have neglected most of you, with the exception of that one evil bitch who is selfish and never accepts blame or responsibility for anything. To you I can only wish that one day your eyes are opened in such a way that you quit making excuses or justifying your actions based on what others do long enough to realize, your life wont get any better unless you actively try to make changes to make it better. (yes I could live by my own advise I know, I should listen to myself but right now I have a headache so I think I am going to toxify my body, hell I could make that a song) (humming to myself, “I'm going to toxify my body”)